The term "sharenting" describes something you probably do without thinking about it: parents sharing information, photos, videos, and stories about their children online.
It's not inherently bad or good. Sharing keeps families connected. It celebrates milestones. It builds community. But sharenting also has real risks that parents often don't consider before they hit "post".
This guide explains what sharenting is, why parents do it, what the research shows about its effects, and how to make intentional choices about what to share.
What is Sharenting?
Sharenting is the practice of parents sharing information about their children online through social media, blogs, family apps, or other digital platforms.
Types of sharenting:
- Posting photos of your child
- Sharing stories about their development or behaviour
- Announcing milestones (first tooth, first words, potty training)
- Posting videos of your child
- Discussing your parenting challenges online
- Sharing location information
- Discussing medical or developmental details
- Posting about your child's school or activities
It's become the default way to share with family and friends. Instead of emailing a photo to grandparents, you post it on Facebook. Instead of calling Aunt Sue with an update, you comment in a family group chat. It's how modern families stay connected.
But the shift to public sharing is relatively recent. 20 years ago, this wasn't normal. Now it is.
Why Parents Sharenting
Parents share information about their children for legitimate reasons:
Staying connected with distant family Grandparents can see photos and updates without traveling. Extended family in different cities or countries can feel involved in the child's life.
Building community Parenting is isolating. Sharing experiences with other parents creates connection. Seeing others go through the same challenges (sleeplessness, potty training, tantrums) helps parents feel less alone.
Processing emotions Writing about parenting experiences can be therapeutic. Sharing the challenges, the joys, the fears helps parents work through what they're experiencing.
Documenting memories Photos on social media are a form of documentation. Parents create a record of their child's life and development.
Seeking advice Asking other parents for advice online is easier than making phone calls or asking in person.
Celebrating milestones Milestones feel important. Sharing them feels natural.
All of these reasons are valid. The issue isn't that parents are sharing. It's how they're sharing and with whom.
The Research on Sharenting
Studies on sharenting show both benefits and risks.
Benefits:
- Family connection across distance
- Community and support for parents
- Documentation of child's development
- Opportunity to ask for advice
Risks:
- Child's photos used for identity theft or fraud
- Permanent digital footprint created without child's consent
- Data collection about child's behaviour and development
- Potential for embarrassing photos to resurface later
- Oversharing intimate or vulnerable moments
- Friends and acquaintances knowing details about child's life
The research suggests the risks increase with the amount shared and the width of audience. Sharing one photo monthly with close family has lower risk than posting hourly to a public account with 1,000 followers.
Digital Footprint: The Permanent Record
When you post a photo of your child online, you're creating a digital footprint that follows them into adulthood.
What gets recorded:
- Every photo you post
- Every comment and engagement the photo receives
- Data about who viewed the photo and when
- Machine learning analysis of the photo's content
- Screenshots, shares, and copies others make
- Cached versions and archive pages
What your child will inherit:
- A digital history of their childhood
- Data about their behaviour from infancy
- Profile information compiled from all parent posts
- Potentially embarrassing photos and stories
- Records they never consented to
A teenager today might Google themselves and find hundreds of photos their parent posted when they were babies, along with stories about their first potty experience or their struggles with sleep or their medical information.
Some young adults have expressed anger at parents for sharenting without their consent. Some have sued. Courts in some countries have ruled in their favour.
Your child will grow up and might not be happy with the digital record you created for them.
Data and Privacy Concerns
When you post photos on social media platforms, companies don't just store them. They analyse them.
What companies do with sharenting:
- Build data profiles about your child from birth
- Use facial recognition to track your child across their posts and photos
- Record what your child looks at, engages with, and spends time on
- Use this data to target advertising as your child grows
- Sell data to third parties (directly or indirectly)
Your newborn has a more detailed data profile than many adults, built entirely from photos and information you shared without their consent.
Tech companies defend this by saying data helps personalise services. But it also enables manipulation. By the time your child is a teenager, companies will know their interests, vulnerabilities, fears, and desires better than anyone in their life.
The Risks Parents Often Miss
Many parents understand the concept of digital footprint but underestimate specific risks.
Identity theft: Criminals use photos of real children to create fake social media profiles. They combine your child's photo with a stolen backstory to scam people. Your innocent photos become tools for fraud.
Predatory behaviour: Paedophiles actively search for child photos online. They save them to collections. They share them. If you're posting photos of your child, these people can find them.
Deepfakes: Technology makes it easy to manipulate photos. Your child's image can be used to create fake content.
Bullying: A child's older posts can resurface and be used as ammunition during school bullying.
Future consequences: Embarrassing childhood photos can affect your child's future job prospects, relationships, or social status.
Loss of control: Once shared, you can't control where your photos go. Friends screenshot them. Strangers save them. Archive sites preserve them. Deleting doesn't erase.
The Benefits of Selective Sharenting
You don't have to choose between staying connected and protecting privacy. Selective sharenting gives you benefits with lower risk.
Selective sharing means:
- Limited audience (not public)
- Rare sharing (not constant)
- Careful content selection (not everything)
- Consent considerations (would child approve?)
- Privacy protection (no location data, no identifying details)
- No overly vulnerable moments
How to do selective sharenting:
- Share with close family only through private messaging
- Use dedicated family photo apps instead of social media
- Post rarely, not constantly
- Don't share location, school, or identifying details
- Don't share vulnerable moments (your child crying, struggling, in bathroom, etc.)
- Ask yourself before posting: "Would I be okay with this being public forever?"
Selective sharenting lets you stay connected without creating a permanent public digital footprint for your child.
Different Sharenting Styles
| Sharenting Style | Description | Risk Level | When It's Okay |
|---|---|---|---|
| Public oversharing | Frequent posts to public account with identifying details | Very high | Not really, ever |
| Regular social media sharing | Regular posts to friends/followers with some privacy settings | High | Rarely |
| Selective social media | Occasional posts with privacy settings, no identifying details | Medium | If you understand the risks |
| Private family sharing | Regular updates shared with close family only through private channels | Low | Good choice |
| Minimal digital sharing | Rare or no online sharing, print photos instead | Very low | Safest option |
Most families fall somewhere in the "regular social media sharing" category. This doesn't mean you're a bad parent. It means you haven't thought about the implications.
Questions to Ask Before Sharing
Before you post anything about your child online:
- Would I be comfortable with this being visible to strangers in 10 years?
- Would my child be comfortable with this being visible to strangers?
- Does this photo show something vulnerable or private?
- Does it include identifying information (face, location, school)?
- Am I sharing this for my benefit or for my child's benefit?
- Who actually needs to see this?
- What could go wrong if this image ended up in the wrong hands?
If you hesitate on any of these, don't post it.
Setting Your Own Sharenting Boundaries
You get to decide your sharenting rules. You don't have to do what everyone else does.
Consider:
- Will you share any photos online, or keep all digital sharing private?
- Will you post to social media, use a dedicated family app, or just email/message?
- Will you share regularly or rarely?
- Will you share identifying details (name, location, school)?
- Will you share vulnerable moments (crying, struggling, medical details)?
- Will you include your child in the decision as they grow?
There's no "right" answer. But make a conscious choice rather than defaulting to what everyone else is doing.
When Your Child Grows Up: Digital Consent
An important shift is happening: older children are asking parents not to post about them anymore.
Some children ask for their childhood photos to be removed from the internet. Some feel their privacy was violated. Some feel they had a say in their digital footprint.
As a parent, you might need to:
- Stop posting about your child as they get older
- Remove past photos if they ask
- Ask permission before sharing
- Respect their emerging privacy preferences
Treating your child's digital presence with consent and respect, starting now, teaches them about privacy and autonomy.
Sharenting and Your Child's Future
The choices you make about sharing now will affect your child's relationship with their digital identity.
Children who grew up with heavy sharenting might:
- Feel their privacy was violated
- Be uncomfortable with their childhood being public
- Have digital records they didn't consent to
- Experience consequences from old posts
Children whose parents shared selectively might:
- Have some memories documented but mostly private
- Feel their privacy was respected
- Have more control over their own digital identity as adults
There's no way to know yet which cohort of children will look back with gratitude and which will look back with anger. But we're likely to see some lawsuits from young adults suing parents for sharenting without consent.
You could be ahead of that curve by sharing less, or sharing only privately.
The Bottom Line on Sharenting
Sharenting isn't inherently wrong. Staying connected with family across distance is valuable. But the current default (posting regularly to social media) carries real risks.
The safer approach:
- Share with close family through private channels
- Share rarely rather than constantly
- Don't share identifying details or vulnerable moments
- Consider your child's future perspective
- Use dedicated family apps instead of social media
- Print photos instead of posting them
Your child deserves a digital childhood built on their consent and privacy, not convenience and corporate profit.
If you want to share updates with family, use tools designed for privacy rather than platforms designed for maximum engagement. Keep the memories special by keeping them private.